hump day.

I'm glad I posted about the Cyclothymia; only, of course, I'm totally lying.  I am most certainly *not* glad about it.  But I had to do it, in order to get myself to acknowledge the thing I've been trying so hard to ignore, to shelve, to table, to back-burner (and if there are other kitchen-related metaphors I could've used for the point I'm trying to make, I'd be surprised, b/c I've clearly made an effort to exhaust the supply).  I didn't want to look at that stuff, to think about it, to face it.  But posting it has forced me to. 

And I think I'm gonna be okay. 

So - no need for sympathy, despite my absolute adoration of your support; I just want anyone who might be concerned to know that I only needed to look at the things I was timidly half- (quarter-) acknowledging about my day-to-day, I needed to see them in bold, dark print on a white background. 

Yes.  I'm gonna be okay.  Dandy, in fact.

So.  Ever onward.

To glorious, shallow, substance-less talk about things like shoes.

Isn't she divine?  Oh, that minx, the Darbi.  I covet her.  I am shameless in my coveting.

Comments

[Peter]

Make the call, there are enough examples in the blogoshere this month and all work out fine after they make the call.
Talk to somebody, writing to us knuckleheads helps I am sure, talking to somebody will heal.

[Andrea]

I think you're brave. You face your genetic predispositions with a lion's courage. You are owning yourself, warts and all. Big hug, girlie.

Those shoes, oh, I'm breathless.

[bubandpie]

I won't offer sympathy, but I will say that your post is making me rethink some of the stuff that's been going on in my head lately (as in, for the last three years) - stuff that I dismiss as "hormones," except that I really don't have an excuse anymore, since I'm neither pregnant nor breastfeeding. I have the feeling that your metaphor of the "crazy slip" is going to be with me for a long time, and I do wonder what the point is of so zealously guarding one's hemline.

[Catherine]

I'm the first in line to sign up for substance-less chatter. And yet I thank you for showing us more than just Darbis. *bows in admiration*

[MelanieinOrygun]

I have to say that when I scrolled down to those shoes, I was stricken by an involuntary "Ooooh, yummy."
And for the rest: do the best thing. That's all I will say.

[Lily]

It's scary how much I identify with your previous entry.

*waives away that thought and pretends it never happened*

Oh, look! Pretty shoes!!!

[Kristy]

Oh I love, I love!

I've been looking for pretty red shoes. I saw some in Vegas that were less than 70, but my husband said something about the price. I just nodded and grinned, but on the inside thinking, "Oh if only he KNEW how much my Buffalo jeans were!"

[amber]

As a bipolar, I understand a little too well. Back in February, I left my job with full benefits to move to Atlanta so I could do what I wanted to for a living... without any insurance. So now I'm back to "unmedicated bipolar" life, which really sucks after finally feeling "normal" for a while on the meds and in therapy.

But, oh, the shoes are beautiful...

[wordgirl]

I love new shoes and those, my dear, are simply fabulous.

[Lotta]

I've said it before - any woman that has a baby should be given a prescription for Prozac in her little Similac sample bag.

[Mrs. Chicky]

You strip yourself naked and then you show us those shoes.

Gawd, I love ya.

If shoes help you get through I say - bring on the heels!

[mothergoosemouse]

That is one cute shoe.

As for the previous post, I heard you. Could you see me nodding along from here?

[Mayberry]

subtance, substanceless, shoes... whatever you wanna say, I'm all ears. And, uh, feet.

[Mommy off the Record]

You know how I feel. About you...and the shoes.

[Jenny]

These two posts are the reason that even though I've never met you, you're my best friend.

I wish I could give you a hug...and then steal those shoes.

[Pattie]

(hug) I know you will do what is right for you. I wish you luck with that decision.

[Marla]

About the first part: (reaches over and gives you an awkward little rub on the arm)

About the second part: (slips a note with this ( http://www.shoewawa.com/ ) into your hand and skips away)

[Ruth Dynamite]

Wow. Those are some cool shoes (she says, as she puts on her $2.50 Old Navy flip flops and gazes down at her crusty callouses).

[dodo]

try to make the call. it helps just making the call. having an appointment time. last time i made it to the first appointment. felt so much better afterwards that i convinced myself i didn't need to bother about any more. I was obviously much better than before. all that gutwrenching, soul twisting, how-can-the-sun-keep-coming-up-when-there's-no-hope feelings were obviously just blip. had just been feeling sorry for myself, everythings much brighter, i have so much energy.

the highs are the verse, the lows are the chorus. You know how the song goes!

Try to make the call.
Wear the shoes to the appointment - you'll feel much braver!

[mamatulip]

You are one of the bravest, realest, most human people I've ever read. Ever. I'm honoured to read your blog.

Now. The shoes. Do feet actually come in sizes that pointy and small?

[Willie]

You will be ok, you are ok, and I dig the shoe. ;-)

[Nancy]

Ooooohhhhh. There's a pair of flats I'm coveting that is so much like that.

[Nancy]

And oh. Sigh. I just read your previous post. ((hugs)) and love and all that mushy stuff. I am thinking of you and here if there is anything you need.

[misha]

So now that I know you well enough I'll comment on this post (wink back at ya! :)) -your last post was profound. That kind of courage needs nothing short of love and thanks. So thank you and I so appreciate your courage and openess. I wish we could meet in person and chat...