anyone got an abattoir they don't mind lending out?

You see, I have this, ... uh, this friend.  Yes.  I have a friend, named -- Shmebbie.  Yes.  Her name is Shmebbie, and she's interested in renting an abattoir for a short-term lease.  Extremely short-term.  Maybe, oh, -- well, how long does it take to travel through the interior of an abattoir?

She's willing to pay whatever the asking price is.  (Just what does the short-term lease for such things go for these days, anyway?  Not that I care.  This is for Shmebbie.  It's barely any of my business.  I've merely been requested to procure it for her, and find out the rates.  She doesn't blog; she's a recluse [iow, she has loads of friends, but doesn't go anywhere near the internet.  She's heard it gives out viruses by the truckload, and she's cyber-germ-phobic].)

Please feel free to email if you aren't comfortable discussing the details or location of your abattoir in the comments.

Thank you.  Er, Shmebbie thanks you.

Comments

[Jenny, Bloggess]

If she's willing to travel to West Texas I can hook her up.

[Ruth Dynamite]

I can hear John Cleese spitting out those words...hilarious!

[Attila the Mom]

Gak! Are there bodies she's trying to get rid of? LOL Inquiring minds and all...

[anne nahm]

Have no idea, and am kind of scared to ask. Although there are a lot of discos downtown that qualify as sausage factories if that helps.

[Major Bedhead]

Why on earth do you need an abattoir?

[Cristina]

I had to go look up what an abattoir was. Stop using big words that I don't know in your blog posts, OK??

Anyway, lucky for you, I have one. I will throw in a guillotine for free if you can pick it up.

[Jozet at Halushki]

Uh...a what now does "Scmebbie" need? Is that some kind of fancy undergarment with buttons and latches?

And dude...how many times a day does someone tell you that you look like Cate Blanchette? Seriously...that photo is taken from imdb, yes?

[apathy lounge]

Please tell me you're just gearing up for an early Halloween display.

[Kristin]

Is Schemmbie interested in slaughtering cows or naughty children/spouses/in-laws?