blogger prom blues.

It's just kind of hard to get worked up about the conference, even given the awesome people I'll get to foist my embarrassing selves self on, because of the people who *won't* be there.

Cristina won't be there.  She has a "wedding" to go to that weekend.  She's supposedly in said wedding, or some fancy waxen-spun tale of that nature. 

Sure, C.  Sure. 

Neither will Mel, even tho I've spent hours via ma bell bullying her coaxing her gently and sweetly into un-hermiting for a few days' time, and promising spiked turkish delight and other equally sumptuous niceties in order to get her to be my prom date.  But no go.  She's too busy being into Portland and refusing to leave her even for a second.  But it's kewl.  I guess.

*sniff*

Jozet won't be there.  *senses searing, anguished pain in chest, realizes it's too soon to talk about how sad-making this is*

Ruth won't be there.  The best blogger-prom '07 roomie ever.  Oh, you may believe, you may even be convinced, that you had the best roomie.  But you would be wrong.  Because Ruth was the roomie, THE numbero-uno roomie, to be had.  And I got her.  And I frightened her.  And it was wonderful and perfect.   And I'm fairly certain I haven't violated the restraining order, seeing as how you live about three thousand miles beyond what I'm required to adhere to in distance-maintenance.  So, phew.  Love you, Ruth.  Call me?

Mary won't be there.  Gwen and I will be sure to make her ears burn regularly with our musings over her ingenious keystrokes, though, so at least there's that, M.  (*sigh*)

Anne won't be there, though she insists she doesn't care.  I'll bet she was just as cool at school, too.  I'll bet she rocked her feathered hair and her back-pocket comb and made all the girls jealous and all the boys swoon with her smooth-ass swagger.

Stacy won't be there, and GODDAMMIT, STACY, I swear you better go next year or -- *ends threat meekly* -- I'll be really bummed.  I'm looking at you equally testily, Mignon.  (yes.  you're both shivering and quaking.)

G won't be there, tho as of this writing, said information is unconfirmed.  I just figure, she's kinda busy with the paint chips and subsequent paint-toxins high.  Enjoy the ride, G.  Enjoy it.  For I shall miss thee as ardently as last year, even if we *don't* talk much anymore.

 

Mrs. Chicken.  I can only wish you comfort and rest in the last days of your pregnancy, though I would much prefer you were a few months postpartum and able to join us.

Binky, I just wish you were gonna be there.  It's not fair.  It's not fair that you're not coming.  Okay, now I'm just being selfish and pouty.  I'm sorry.  I know you're busy.  I just - I said that already.  Anyway.  Sigh.

*Updated to include Emily, because for some reason I had assumed she was coming.  Since, you know, I spaced that she LIVES IN ENGLAND.  Sigh.  My stupid is personal and it hurts.  p.s. Emily, I will miss your presence dreadfully.  I really DID think you'd be there.  Ai.  The idiocy.  Owwie.  *sees stars of stupid dancing across stupid eyes*

*Further updated to include Andrea, because, AGAIN, I was making this stupidly wildly incorrectly idiotic assumption that she'd be there.  Sans any reasoning.  Just - wishful thinking, I guess.  I r dum.  Such has been evidenced too often to count.  Let's not.  Rather, let's just be collectively sad that the brilliant author of Little Bald Doctors will be too busy digging around amongst steel thingies (?) on a business trip in MO-land to grace us with her genius presence. 

Oh, Andrea.  You will be missed.  So very missed.

*Doy.

Also, Julia and Mama Tulip and Sandra.  Goddammit.  You three - well, Julia, I missed you painfully there last year, and Mama T, I wouldn't have let you outta my sight last year *or* this year, so maybe it's a blessing in disguise (for you, not me) that you won't have to be subjected to my constant stares this time around, either, and Sandra?   Well, shit.  Who will I lust after if you're not around to make ga-ga wolf eyes at, with your golden, glowing, prom-queen bodacious (yeah!) beauty?

Oh, and Nancy!, Nancy.  You were there last year, and I didn't take nearly enough advantage of that fact.  I'll miss you dreadfully.

There are so many who will be there who I will piss myself to be near, but there are so many who will not.

Feeling all half-and-half.

*goes to the fridge, glares moodily at its contents, drinks straight from the milk carton*

Comments

[anne nahm]

God! I Bedazzle one jean jacket in my whole life and it follows me everywhere! That and listening to Wham! pretty much screwed me for social interactions. You saw right through my bravado, tho.

[Suebob]

I will be there. Promise me you will talk louder and slower. I am an old person and it is hard for me to keep up, but I'm dying to see you.

[Emily R]

Come on -- you know you're really just upset I won't be there :)

[MelanieinOrygun]

Hi! Person who hates being surrounded by people, no matter how very nice and awesome they are, right over here.
Thus the hermitness. If anybody was awesome enough to convince me to go and deal with that many humans in one place, it would have been you. But baby, I SO cannot do it. Not even for love of you. :)

[bea]

The paint chips would never hold me back - I TAKE THEM WITH ME. (Everywhere.) It's the whole full-time teaching gig thing. Sigh.

[Andrea]

Well, you'll have to make sure to report on the awesome women who are there. I, for one, will be stuck in the butt crack of the country (a.k.a. Mississippi) on a trip for work. While you're sipping cocktails and smooching awesome ladies' cheeks, I'll be digging around in dirty steel and manufacturing equipment taking an inventory. At least if I were spending a week away from my kids, they could have the courtesy to make it fun, but no, I actually have to work. Ugh.

So blog about it? So at least I can pretend I'm not sweaty and dirty and wishing I were anywhere else on the planet?

[Gwen]

Am I really not enough for you, Deb?

Ya'll are breaking my heart, I swear.

(And, uh, Emily now lives in LA, but she's putting herself before us and our needs, and frankly, it's disgusting, that kind of narcissism.)

[Major Bedhead]

I won't be there either, but since I don't think I even qualify as a D-List blogger, I'm sure no one really cares.

I'm going to the Niagara thing. It's much more affordable. And far fewer people, which is nice for a curmudgeonly misanthrope such as myself.

[slouching mom]

(said in small, hurt voice)

i'll be there.

[Nancy]

I will miss you.

[Lotta]

Drag. I was looking forward to seeing Ruth again. She had the absolute best stories.

[Kerri Anne]

Dude, we are going to have so much fun. Or else. SO MUCH FUN, and I'm not afraid of dancing when no one else is. Though I can't promise I won't bust out The Lawnmower, and The Sprinkler, and other such ridiculous bad (see: AWESOME) dance moves.

[mamatulip]

It's probably a good thing we won't be at the same event. I mean, I'd just make an ass of myself dry-humping your leg whilst grabbing my boobs.

Heh.

[mrs. chicken]

You and me both, babe. But I'll be there in spirit. I heard a rumor that it is on Boston next year - if so, I will totally be there.

[Assertagirl]

It's true, MamaTulip does dry hump.

[Ruth Dynamite]

It was my secret plan all along to go to BlogHer last minute, but alas...

I just accepted (today) a full time job. For me, for now, this is significant. I'll be on Nantucket all next week...doing little other than being on Nantucket, which is very, very awesome. But still...I'll be thinking of you in SF. I'm with you in spirit.

[Kelly]

If I could just get over my social anxiety and take the BlogHer plunge. I can't imagine the stress of being surrounded by so many talented women and then having to actually speak to them instead of type at them. And, ya know, actually come up with things to say besides, "Gee, San Fran is nice, eh?"