me and my extremely boring shadow.

So!, HA!, yeah, I was gonna do that weird post-every-day-in-November thingy, 'cause I'm highly unrealistic (read: high) about such business (you thought, nay, you prayed I'd say "bidness," didn't you.  Oh, no, mothafucka.  I do not roll the way you think I roll.  I sort of more limp.  Especially after the falling-off-the-press-riser-on-election-night injury that has gifted me with a bruise on my upper-left thigh resembling a tattoo of brains.  Yes, there will be photo evidence.  This I swear.  And I promise it, too, because swearing isn't enough to make you believe me.  You = me in this scenario, by the way, just so we clear, Muriel.  I'm sort of a big fan of my blog, so I like to talk to myself in the posts like I'm actually someone else.  It's good for me.  Unhealthy-good.  It makes me believe I have a fan.  Except I'm not really even a fan.  I only said that to make me feel better.  Try to not let on your awareness if you happen to be reading this.  I'd rather not know.  Anyway, you can just *forget* about bidness.  It's all business, all the time, from here on out.  BUSIness.  I am very, very busi).

I have a new job.

Did I not mention, I quit my old one?, that is, the one I held for about five weeks?  Uh-huh.  I sort of got harrassed on my first day by one of the supervisors, so I decided after a few weeks of having to tolerate his, er, mavericky (only, in this instance, mavericky = independent of, aka lacking, a code of reasonable, adult manner/speech applied toward those who are not on equal footing within the company hierarchy) behavior, that I would do so no longer.  And I quit.  It felt good.  I didn't really feel tolerant enough to survive something so disturbingly stupid (and by something, I mean someone, and, sure, I could've gone back and edited it to reflect that in the initial sentence but that would've required GOING BACK, something I do not do, hence the nauseating rehash, it's why you love me, the you-who-is-me who-is-now-reading-this-post and-laughing-adoringly).

There's some other stuff, too, that I could add; about how I've gone plumb crazy!, plus additional sappy anecdotes about multidinous trips to see therapists and psychiatrists and absorb a variety of medicines into my system in order to "fix" my desire to suicide it all away, and when Jack tilts his head, sparrow-eyed and sweet, and says, why do you need that medicine, mommy?, I get to tell him it's for my brain.  It's mommy's brain medicine.  Because he's easily six months too young to hear that it's to keep the crazy in a holding pen.

(Or maybe he's ready.

In fact, I'm gonna go way out and suggest he's ALREADY AWARE OF T-H-E C-R-A-Z-Y.)

p.s.!

I love you, me.  *winks back at saucy self*

(Saucy is sorta depressing, all of a sudden.  Like Charo trying to recapture her original disco-awesome glory in the late nineties.

Or toast that's burnt on the edges and still soggy in the middle.)

(Also, I just realized why I have to take brain medicine.  It's for the brains.  That are tattooed on my upper left thigh.  Said photos of which exist, *and* are forthcoming.  Except, they're gross.  Exactly/like/brains.)

Comments

[MammaLoves]

There is absolutely NOTHING Charo about you.

And just so you know...we all have this voice in our head--at least all us awesome women do.

[qt]

This is hysterical and makes me miss you~

[Major Bedhead]

Man, I wish I could write what's in my head the way you do. You make it funny even thru the pain.

[Kyla]

I'm laughing adoringly.

[jaelithe]

Oh, you are so brilliant when you're feeling crazy. Really, you are.
But then, you're brilliant all the time.

I'm glad you quit that job. Life is too short to work for assholes if you can possibly avoid it.

Stick around. Feel better. I need your words.

[Ruth Dynamite]

I like your brains just the way they are.

Thinking of you and your hair.

[Sarah]

Two words that will help your brains (the one on your leg, sorry, not the crazy one): Arnica Gel - specifically Arniflora. Apply it twice a day and you will be amazed how quickly it will feel better and heal.

[Cristina]

Hey you. Missing you. We need to talk soon. Been too long.

[Shutter Bitch]

Sometimes I fantasize about kneeing those leering emeffers in the jewels on the way out the door. if they're socially unacceptable behavior is overlooked, why shouldn't a good solid unsociable knee be overlooked?

Take care of yourself, sweets. I prefer Lildb snacks over Hostess. Hostess is too saccharine. That's why I love you. And your dry wit, and yes, even your crazy.

[apathy lounge]

I envy your brain.

[Cat]

I know about the Crazy.

[daisybones]

um, hi. I miss you. In lieu of commenting and generally showing good bloggy support and grrl-love, I vibe a million kisses at you.

***************xoxo***vibe***xoxo*******************