i obsess.

(obsessed about having never) been caught stealing.

(Emailed to me by M.)

The moment I walk into a shop - any shop - I always, always, always assume the frigging alarm is going to go off the moment I walk out. Probably cos it mostly does...

 

Point being that every second I'm in the shop I'm checking myself to make sure I'm not inadvertently stuffing goods in my pockets or down my bra or pantyhose. On top of that I'm usually scoping out the other patrons waiting for a moment when it will be least embarrassing to have said people turn around to see who that lying, cheating mother fucking scouse is that made the alarm go off.

 

I reckon I have a microchip or something lodged at the base of my skull a la Scully in X-Files that makes every alarm in my vicinity go off. And yeah, they're probably coming to take me away right at this very moment.

 

Utterly idiotic thing to obsess about when I've never been done for stealing.

changery.

Hello.  How are you?

I mean it.  I want to know.  Please send me emails about how you are.  Or, more specifically, how you obsess.  *Do* you obsess?  What is it about?  Write that shit out, then, my bitch (said with love), and spread it across the interweb to me in an anonymous email that I shall post it forthwith.  Prithee.

Won't you please?  I'd hate to think I'm the only one who obsesses about shit.

(Only, not shit.  Literally.  I actually *don't,*  surprisingly, obsess about *shit.*  Just everything else under the blasted hot orb in the yellow sky.)

Think of it as the new, more lengthy, less photoshoppy post secret.

I will love you forever?

And feed you cake?

(psst - lildbsnack at gmail)