it's none of your business.

I don't want friends.  Because I can't control you.  I can't make you say what I want to hear, and I can't make you interact with me in the way that I choose (e.g., safely, or what I perceive to be safe in a given, specific moment, that could change on a spinning, flinty, shimmying dime bag flown in from somewhere southern and leaving me with the spins), you are dangerous. 

You heard me.

(There's more; there's ALWAYS more.  But I don't have time dangling from my fingers like dead leaves shriveled from age and wanton use by the sun and its minions, I can't spare you any explanation, at least any further explanation than I currently offer in this wee, spare diatribe passed through the eye of my needling you.  Or your needling of me.  I HATE NEEDLES.  NEEDS.  FUCK.)

I love you.

In a completely non-sexual way. 

Probably.

Comments

[slouchy]

i love you too. in a completely non-sexual way. probably.

[Gwen]

man, you need some new friends. ones who are easier to control. and listen to your advice and shit. me? i'm planning on getting me some of those in zurich. i've heard the switsish love being told what to do. especially the ones in public libraries.

[mamatulip]

I totally get what you're saying.

I think.

[nonlineargirl]

Good to know.

[Kathi D]

Wishing more malleable friends for you, because I like you. And I get it. I need friends who know that I almost never want to talk to anyone, but sometimes I do.

[Neil]

You ever wonder if we control you?

[apathy lounge]

I wish you lived closer.

[dodo]

you can totally control me just so long as you tell me how to get rid of these "farmer giles" first.

[roo]

Well, I was only pretending to be your friend so you would have sex with me, so i guess we're even.

I kid. But yeah, that conflict between general disappointment with the human race and loneliness can be a real doozy. Right up there with restaurants that serve terrible food-- and in such small portions, too. ..

[Cristina]

Hey D - your posts are still intriguing. Glad I popped in and found the blog still alive and kicking :)

Not to change the subject to myself, but I'm too lazy to send a separate email... my kid was in the hospital for 5 days last week. It sucked, but he's OK. I think.